Out of This World by Patricia Eimer

Blurb:
Engaged to a murderous, intergalactic warlord, Capridocian Princess Corripraxis is running for her life and crash lands on Earth, where large creatures moo at her, threatening to expose her as an alien. If she can just get some help—in the form of the very attractive Earth male who just pulled up in a tow truck—she can hunker down in the Martian colony until she figures out her next move, right?

One hunky Marine. One sexy alien. One deranged intergalactic warlord. What could go wrong?

At the scene of an accident, a sexy woman asks ex-Marine Mattias Cadiz to take her to Roswell NM. He really should be getting on with living a nice, sane—quiet—life, because the very pretty Corri is probably on her way to the annual Convention with the other alien-crazy wackos. Still, no way he can refuse such a gorgeous, if confused, violet-eyed beauty.

    

My Review:
2.5 stars — I received a free copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest and unbiased review/opinion.

This book was not a match for me, and to be honest I should have just DNF’d it.  But I always feel like I should give books I get for free a bigger shot somehow, and so I pushed forward.  I don’t know that I can articulate my expectations from the blurb, but it just did not match up with those expectations in the end.  I expected a rom-com I guess, and theoretically that’s what I got, but the problem was that the humour didn’t work for me.  I even tried explaining the book to my husband, and apparently I did a piss poor job b/c he said the book sounded awful.  *sigh*  But trying to explain to my husband that while the humour didn’t work for me, it might for others was like…I don’t know.  Something impossible.  Brain’s not working right now.

So one of my biggest problems is that I couldn’t suspend my disbelief.  Right from the first page I was questioning things: if they have tentacles, how are they punching in numbers?  Wouldn’t they have a different interface?  And the next few examples might be minorly spoilery, so be warned.  How does she eat metal in her cloaked body?  Or is it just an illusion, and her teeth are just really strong?  If she eats metal, then what happens when she consumes human food?  Wouldn’t her digestive system work differently then?  If she watches TV from Earth, then why wouldn’t she know water is blue and earth is brown?  Also, how is she reading books from Earth if there has been no contact?

Honestly, it felt like the author just decided to think up the wackiest characteristics for her aliens without giving them any sense of realism and believability.  Which is probably ok for some people, but I’m not that person apparently.  Heck, I wasn’t even happy that Mattias sometimes had a limp, other times had a prosthetic and yet we never seem him taking care of his fake limb or anything.  *sigh*  I’m too much of a details girl.

So even ignoring all of that, I didn’t even really like either of the main characters.  I didn’t swoon over Mattias, and I didn’t really feel connected to Corri at all.  I was probably more interested in Brandt and Daria.  Or even Flo and Bub.

For me it was just a book trying a bit too hard to be funny without hitting its mark in my opinion.  And in the end I didn’t really get anything else from it either — romance, action, suspense…drama.  It just fell flat for me.